I know this blog is about Alyssa but it’s also about our family and due to the arrival of Alyssa (and all the fun and games that has brought) this year has been a tremendous year for me personally, one I feel I wouldn’t have survived had it not been for my amazing husband, Warren. Today, we celebrate four years since our beautiful wedding on NYE 2004.
It took us a long time to get our acts together and get together in the first place but we eventually got there and it was the best thing I ever did.
It then took us a long time and some ups and downs to get ourselves to Tahune Airwalk where you proposed, clinging desperately to the super high cantilever bridge 🙂
From there, from that moment, things moved fast. We were married within a year, welcoming in the new year of 2005 as newlyweds. Within another year I was pregnant with Liam – a difficult pregnancy but manageable with your support and love.
We started this year with another loss of a pregnancy (most would not know that I’ve suffered a few losses now) and again you helped me through that. The following month, Alyssa was conceived and from the very first day I knew I was in for a tough slog. My hyperemesis setting in from day one and getting worse and worse as the year went on. I struggled to fall into place in my new school while feeling so unwell and it was all I could do to come home and find my way to the couch but you didn’t complain. You’d still cook me dinner and understand when I threw it all up minutes later. You held onto me for as long as I needed every time I was sick, or thought I was going to be sick, or just felt sick (which was a LOT of cuddling).You never complained when I interrupted your work just because I needed you to hold me.
When I had to stop work early because I had deteriorated so badly you didn’t complain (at least not to me) when I was practically bedridden for 2-3 months. I simply couldn’t find the energy to make it to the loungeroom somedays and you continued to look after Liam and Tristan and me, cook, clean, and find time to do your own work to pay the bills. Even when I was consumed with guilt from not being able to do anything but sleep and vomit you assured me that we’d be ok and that I didn’t need to worry – that all I had to focus on was growing your daughter as best as I could manage.
Even with all of your workload, you still found the time to visit me with Liam and Tristan every day when I ended up in hospital for the last week of my pregnancy. You held me when I cried and when I begged to come home you convinced me I’d be ok and I was in the best place.
Things were supposed to improve when I gave birth. As I lay in the bed holding our gorgeous daughter you whispered to me ‘I’m so glad to have my wife back’. It had been a hard year for me, but just as hard for you. You’d given everything you could, knowing this was about to be over.
Neither of us could prepare ourselves for the disaster that followed with our darling princess getting sick. We’d thought things were tough all year, but they were about to be even tougher. Over the next few weeks, I fell apart so many times, struggling to understand what was happening and even though your heart was being shattered as well, you continued to look after me every day. Again, you held me while I cried, you physically held me up when I couldn’t do it myself, you convinced me that I could survive. You, again, essentially played the role of a single Dad while I was in hospital day in, day out, and you do it better than I could even with your help.
You sat by my side as I became delirious on morphine in the emergency room even while your little girl was recovering from surgery upstairs. And again after having my gallbladder removed. You would come a couple of times a day just to be with me and to take my milk to Alyssa at the other hospital, simply because you understood it was important for me.
I’ve seen the level of your love for me this year, above all others. The year we’ve been through has the potential to tear apart a marriage – the social workers were so concerned for us, unsure if we could outlast the strain – but I think it’s only proven how strong our love and commitment to each other is. I’ve sometimes worried you’d run out of effort to give but I’ve seen you bump it up and bump it up every time it’s been needed and you’re still going strong.
I love you endlessly and I know there’s no chance I can ever repay you for what you’ve done for me this year. I often tell people I’m so lucky to have such a wonderful husband and now I wanted to let people know why. Your giving is never ending, your caring is ever lasting and amidst the seriousness of this year, you still find it in you to pick on me mercilessly 😀
You keep me sane. You keep me smiling. You warm me with your cuddles. You hold me up when I’m down.
You are an amazing father to Tristan, Liam and Alyssa and we couldn’t ask for a better man to be part of our lives. Thankyou!
I love you Warren!
May the next year be completely and utterly boring and simple for our whole family 😀